California Ombudsman Hearing

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California Ombudsman Hearing

Submitted by Shannon Doe on Wed, 06/14/2006 - 5:13pm. HOA Rehab

What's with those people in California? What like 6 whole homeowners want this stupid bill, but all 41,000 associations have to charge $5 per door for it? How stupid. With more than 70% of homeowners being very happy and pleased with how their HOA functions, why should they have to pay for a few idiots who can't stand to follow the rules? Those old guys in Manchester, they know whats up. They're wise.

After seeing the results of the Nevada Ombudsman and the Florida Ombudsman, why would California rush to adopt another failed experiment? Don't those dumb people know that CAI will own & operate the Ombudsman's office within days of it being setup?

Besides, most people realize that HOAs are very necessary to keep the slobs from being slobs, and the pigs from pigging things up in the nieghborhood. If people were cleaner we wouldn't need HOAs, but they're not. They think they can paint their houses stupid colors that nobody but them likes, and then grow flowers that clash with the color scheme. Until people learn to get some taste and some class in their preferences HOAs will always be necessary. Pay a fashion/style advisor or pay your HOA whats the difference? Besides at least with the HOA you get some good perks too, like pools, and clubhouses and stuff.

Grow up California, your nothing but a bunch of socialist communists, looking for big brother to solve your problems. Just consider your HOA to be the fashion police and you'll all get along just fine!

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Shannon Doe writes

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 06/16/2006 - 11:00am.

Shannon Doe writes that:

"Until people learn to get some taste and some class in their preferences HOAs will always be necessary."

She's right. And those HOA's must be given the power to discipline unit owners who violate the rules. Much has been written about the perils of permitting HOAs to "fine" unit owners. But "fines" are only one form of discipline.

Here in Lashing Lakes, we have found that physical punishment is more effective than financial penalties. We insist only that such punishment be administered tastefully, and we adhere to all CAI protocols in this regard. "Slobs?" We haven't had any in Lashing Lakes in a long time.

But we're always looking!

Mark E. D. Sade, PCAM, Lashing Lakes HOA

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Mark! You need to update

Submitted by Tinfoilhat on Fri, 06/16/2006 - 3:48pm.

Mark!

You need to update your tasteful punishments and add emotional and mental distress. Here in Stone Harbour, you never know who is your best friend or your worse enemy. They all look the same. Smiling faces telling you how nice your lawn looks while the whole time looking for a blade of grass out of place.

Then there's the managers wandering around, frowning at every house, always adds to the distress of the homeowners. You never know what to expect in the next mail delivery.

And of course the Board members who stop by on a Saturday morning for coffee just to see how things are going. A little bait and switch. Three days later they have you on the chopping block.

Physical punishment is good but wounds heal. Worry causes things like ulcers, headaches, depression and forgetfulness. Oh yes, forgetfulness is good. You forget to pay your assessments and the frowning manager sells your house.

Update Mark! Update!

One of Bonnie Garcia's Crazy People in Tinfoil Hats

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Although Stone Harbor sounds

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 06/16/2006 - 6:17pm.

Although Stone Harbor sounds like an enchanting HOA, we've found that our unit owners are more discriminating vis-a-vis penalties. "Mental distress," as you put it, certainly has its place, but punishment administered by mail has certain....limitations.

Here at Lashing Lakes, we've addressed the problem of poor attendance at Board meetings by making the meetings mandatory for all unit owners. During our meetings, over which I, as the PCAM and General Manager, preside, unit owners may not speak unless invited to do so by me.

This has the effect of speeding up the business meetings, avoiding questions from the floor, and allowing us to proceed to the "Salute to Leather Night" which immediately follows all of our meetings. During these proceedings, punishments are administered to all deserving unit owners in full view of their peers.

Highly effective and always tasteful, I must say.

And perfectly legal by the way. Every single legal theory that permits or requires individuals to contract away their right not to be fined and nonjudicially foreclosed upon applies with equal strength when considering governing documents which provide for non financial punishments. In fact, an excellent argument can be made that our punishments are less severe than those which strip owners of their equity and leave them homeless over an offense worth only a dozen tastefully administered strokes, wouldn't you agree?

Our way of life at Lashing Lakes is rich and fulfilling. And if you don't mind being "bound" by the covenants, perhaps it's the place for you!

Mark E. D. Sade, PCAM

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You people are a riot!

Submitted by Raunstar on Fri, 06/16/2006 - 7:19pm.

You people are a riot!

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Mark, After much

Submitted by Tinfoilhat on Fri, 06/16/2006 - 11:34pm.

Mark,

After much delibertion, I thought I would kiss up to our manager and pass on your ideas. I am surprised she didn't see them in the CACM handbook or the CAI Homeowner's Bill of Rights but then she would have had to take some test and she's so busy, she probably just didn't have time.

Thanks to you, the manager called an emergency meeting of the Board. The result of the meeting made some substantial changes to the governing documents. They called it an Emergency Resolution of the Board so they can get around the owner input stipulation or voting or other nonsense the homeowners might come up with.

As a marketing ploy, they have changed the name of our association to Stoned Harbor. Two types of people will be attracted to the name, those who can afford it and those who can't.

Those who can't will be the rentals which are forbidden in our deeds. As Shannon said, most people realize that HOAs are very necessary to keep the slobs from being slobs, and the pigs from pigging things up. As we all know rentals can be the ruin of any good association. This one is no exception so all rentals will be watched for any violation of a CC&R or individually made up rule they can and will enforce.

All absentee owners will be called to a hearing to explain themselves. Of course, there will be no excuse good enough to explain the pot of flowers that clashes with the house paint. Flowers don't come in beige, do they?

Now the real meaning of Stoned Harbor will become apparent to the offending owner. Board members will promptly parade the guilty owner down the main drive and let the other community members "stone" him. We do not have to use rocks but anything handy like bottles or baseballs but no bullets. They don't want things to get too messy.

These necessary measures are not limited to absentee owners unless you are a friend of a Board member or a Board member. Those violations will be ignored. From time to time, the Board can use selective enforcement if they choose.

The Board seriously thought about Lashing Lakes'unique way of doing things but, ya know, we all can't be alike. ;) Besides, being a "community" the Board thought they should include everyone in this decision.

They send their heartfelt thanks and say to "keep up the good work." They know how difficult it is to keep everyone in line.

Tinfoil Hat

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